


Square Peg, Round Hole

by Pixxyofice



Series: Regrow - A Persona 4 Arcana Swap AU [6]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arcana Swap (Persona Series), Gen, New Game Plus, Nonbinary Shirogane Naoto, but in future fics will be called with they/them pronouns!, but with a twist!, i commit the great sin of making a bad pun here, naoto basically learns of the possibility here and uses she/her for themself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:49:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28536162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pixxyofice/pseuds/Pixxyofice
Summary: "Is it worth feeling like a stranger in your own skin?" They spat, "Is it worth faking interests in makeup and dolls when all you want to do is sit down and watch Neo Feathermen?" Shadow Naoto slammed their hands on the table again, and the room trembled. "Is it worth the stares up and down your body from your peers, is it worth recoiling whenever someone calls you a girl, even though you're trying to be as much of one as possible?"---Another Shadow Self to face. What makes this Naoto tick?
Series: Regrow - A Persona 4 Arcana Swap AU [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1935223
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	Square Peg, Round Hole

The final room was lined with filing cabinets, many files tossed astray and some drawers barely managing to stay on the outer frames. There was a desk in the center, naturally lined by the chaos, where both of the Naoto were standing.

Shadow Naoto was wearing their nurse outfit. The other Naoto, dressed in a frilly dress that ended above their knees with barely any sleeves, showing a lot of pale skin.

Yeah, the Naoto he knew would have burned the dress long before it got close to their body.

Shadow Naoto looked up from where they were sitting on the desk, and their strained smile grew a bit twisted. "Oh, look. It's the people you hope are deceived."

Naoto stiffened, and they turned on their heel, dress fanning out before going back to their body. "Wh-" Their voice started at their natural pitch, and they stopped themself before speaking again, in a higher tone this time. "You've come to rescue me?"

"Yeah!" Chie called out, holding her fists by her side. "We'll get you out!"

Shadow Naoto laughed, and their form glitched, blurring and static, before they were dressed in the doctor's outfit. They leaned forward, dangling a hand off their knee. "Even with all the doubts you have about your act, looks like some still buy it."

Naoto swiveled back around, hands initially trying to cross over their chest before they seemingly remembered they had a crowd and simply balled them up at their sides. "Wh-What act?" Naoto squeaked, "This is what I like to wear!"

Oh, that was telling.

"Are you trying to convince them, or are you trying to convince yourself?" Shadow Naoto shifted on the desk again, their form glitching a bit before settling back onto the nurse outfit. They checked out one of their hands, and Purrci realized that their nails were long and sharp. "Still looking back on your childhood happily, where you got to wear pants and coats? Where you didn't have to worry about being an ideal owner for the shop?"

"People-" Naoto's voice shifted down again before they noticed and corrected it, "People have to adjust for-" Naoto shook their head, long blue hair lashing in the air. "People change!"

Shadow Naoto laughed. "Oh, people change, they sure do! But," Shadow Naoto pressed a finger to their leg, and their form switched to the doctor again. "You're forgetting the fact that you don't want to. You're just throwing yourself into this role of the owner of a textile shop, simply because you're expected to, and you hate yourself for every second you do it."

Yosuke made a low whistle. "Damn, that's..."

"Sounds a bit familiar." Yukiko pointed out, opening her fan slightly. "Be on guard."

The team adjusted their stances, hands hovering close to their weapons and eyes focused on Shadow Naoto.

"It's what I have to do!" Naoto shouted, shoulders tensing. "My parents died, and I can't leave my family's business to die! I'm next, and I have to do good!"

Shadow Naoto started glitching. Their blurry, staticy form did not settle this time. What was probably their hands slammed down on the desk, clipboard dropping to the ground with a clatter. "Is it worth feeling like a stranger in your own skin?" They spat, "Is it worth faking interests in makeup and dolls when all you want to do is sit down and watch Neo Feathermen?" Shadow Naoto slammed their hands on the table again, and the room trembled. "Is it worth the stares up and down your body from your peers, is it worth recoiling whenever someone calls you a girl, even though you're trying to be as much of one as possible?"

"Wait, what?" Came a breath from Chie.

Naoto took a step back, hands lifted and recoiling. "Y-Yes!" Naoto stammered out, voice dropping. "It has to be! I-I'm the daughter of a Shirogane, I'm acting like one!"

Shadow Naoto shook their head— Purrci saw a brief glimpse of what looked like a... detective outfit in the glitched mess that was Shadow Naoto's body— and they crossed what should be their arms over their chest. "Do you even know who you are?"

Naoto stiffened.

Naoto then growled.

"You couldn't know," Naoto huffed. "You're not me, you can't actually know why I'm doing this."

Purrci slashed his claws through the air, his card shattering into Izanagi. Shadow Naoto cackled, their form starting to grow more shadowy. The team summoned their own personas, spreading out across the room as much as possible before Naoto's shadow transformed.

Naoto stepped back, a look of sheer terror in their eyes as Naoto's shadow flew into the air, fake wings and a robotic body with tools and needles sticking out of most of the crevices.

"Free me," Shadow Naoto shouted, "From the hell that has become my life!"

Shadow Naoto aimed a gun at regular Naoto, and Purrci sent Izanagi to deflect the bullet that was fired.

"Wh... What is... why..." Naoto pressed a hand against their forehead, wincing. "My head..."

Purrci stood by their side, tail lashing. He would make sure they were safe. Izanagi shifted his stance, holding his sword up to block anything that would dare come that way.

Konohana Sakuya darted towards Shadow Naoto, sword coming in for a stab, but Shadow Naoto dove beneath the blow, gun arm opening up and starting to be swapped out for what looked to be a sword.

Shadow Naoto was tough to hit, Purrci observed as he stood by Naoto. Everyone else's Personas were big, usually noticeable to see coming, and Shadow Naoto was naturally small, just like the actual one.

Purrci glanced back to Naoto, watching as they watched the fight with fearful eyes. They glanced down and noticed him watching, and a bit of surprise crossed their face before they pressed a hand to their forehead again. 

The sound of swords clashing rung through the room.

"Hey, uh... cute creature..." Naoto greeted, lowering their hand slightly. "...cat? Why..." Their voice faded. "...why did she know so much about me?"

Naoto didn't know yet, right. Purrci hoped the wince he just did wasn't noticeable, and instead he simply quirked his ears up. "That's your Shadow. They're the manifestations of thoughts and feelings that even you don't want to believe you think and feel." Purrci looked to the Shadow Naoto, who was wincing as a lightning bolt from Kanji hit a wing. "Even if they take it too far sometimes... It's all based on things you feel, just not ones you want to feel."

Naoto stared at Purrci, frowning. "But, she..." Their voice faltered. "I... I have to be the perfect daughter, to take over the store..."

Purrci had to think about this. 

Naoto was the next heir to Shirogane Stitches. Because of that, they sought to be a perfect representation of the store, seemingly rejecting the masculine things they were into in order to try and become that perfect textile store owner. They focused on it so much and tried to discard how everything felt off, and... not knowing themself as much because of it.

That fear of not being the perfect textile store owner...

"Why do you have to do that?" Purrci asked, and Naoto's eyes widened slightly. Purrci glanced to the fight quickly, then turned fully to Naoto, Persona fading slightly. He placed a hand on his hip. "If you're the next in line, and you're good at your job, why does it matter if you're not the typical image of a sewer?"

"But-" Naoto stopped, face twisting as they thought. "I'm— not the greatest, and when I take over, if I dressed how I did before—" Naoto stopped, shook their head, then continued, "People wouldn't like the store. I'd be a failure to it, and I couldn't... do that to my parents."

Purrci let his eyes wander to Kanji, who was getting a brief heal from Yosuke as Tomoe threw kicks and punches at the flying Shadow Naoto.

"You know," Purrci said, a barebone outline of an idea forming in his head, "Kanji's really good at sewing."

Naoto's head jolted up slightly, confusion in their eyes. "He... is?" A brief pause, where Saki had Hitobashira toss flames at Shadow Naoto. The flames scorched against their side. "... I never would've guessed..."

"I think," Purrci met eyes with Naoto, "he would be willing to help you."

"I... yes, Tatsumi-kun is known for being helpful, but..." Naoto trailed off. "... I'm still the owner. I'm the face. I couldn't..."

"You could pass on Shirogane Stitches to him," Purrci said, watching Naoto's eyes widen, "If he wanted to. I bet he would. And with him as the owner, making the next stitches of the store great..." Purrci lifted a paw in the air, smiling. "You wouldn't have to force yourself to be the... daughter of the Shiroganes, the picture of a feminine person."

Shadow Naoto let out a cry as another hit was landed. Purrci tried not to wince at how similar to sounded to whenever Naoto— his Naoto, the one from the last timeline— got hit.

Naoto looked at Purrci, engaged, and Purrci straightened up.

"You don't have to be a daughter," Purrci meowed, "and you don't have to be a son, either."

Naoto's face changed to confusion again. Purrci hoped he could do this right.

"You're forcing yourself to fit into your picture of a girl, but... you're not. That's not who you are."

Naoto frowned, eyebrows furrowed as they lifted a hand to their chin. Purrci almost smiled at seeing the familiar gesture again. "...Then... who am I?"

"Up to you to find out." Purrci thought of something, and he couldn't help his smile growing. "But... maybe you're something in between... Nyanbinary, purrhaps."

Naoto stared, a mix of disappointment and understanding in their eyes.

Shadow Naoto crashed to the ground, and Purrci darted his eyes away from Naoto and to the Shadow starting to reform into the more human-like form. The group started to approach, still staying in a circle and cautious, but staying back for Naoto.

Naoto glanced to Purrci, then started to walk forward.

"... I don't know who I am." Naoto started, and Shadow Naoto glanced up from the desk, body glitching again but starting to settle. "And... that's because I spent... every day since the deaths of my parents trying to fit into the ideal image of a seamstress. I tossed away anything I felt, hoping it would go away after I spent time as the ideal girl, but it didn't." Naoto held a hand on their hip, frowning. "If I had looked around, I could have someone... willing to help me with the store, but I refused to look outside of my house other than for how the outside would perceive me."

Shadow Naoto's form settled, and it was a sharp change from the doctor and nurse outfits. This time, the main body of the outfit was a simple button-down white shirt, with long blue pants...

... and a familiar blue cap on their head.

Naoto took a shuddering breath. "Figuring out what can be done will... be tough, but I'm sure if I talk it through... try to do something that helps me and helps the store my parents wanted to continue so much..." Naoto smiled. "... I think they'll be proud of me figuring it out this way. And... that's much better than shoving my square peg into a round hole."

Purrci watched as Shadow Naoto transformed into Sukuna Hikona. Instead of Sukuna Hikona being mainly dark blue colors, the colors skewed towards lighter blues, with his wings more akin to a fairy's than a moth's.

Naoto reached up towards the card as it spun down, accepting it into their being.

Naoto glanced towards Kanji, genuine smile on their face. "...Hey, Kanji-kun... can I..." Their eyes drooped closed. "... ask for.. a... favor..."

Kanji darted forward as Naoto passed out.

**Author's Note:**

> i sure hope you'll like what i write next for the team! :)


End file.
